16th July 2008
I didn't sleep. I couldn't eat.
I cried the whole night.
And walked into my very own personal hell.
Everyone always tells you that you won't ever make a difference. Everyone tells you that you're just one person. But you are very, very special. And everything in this world is worth fighting for, and I'm going to fight for what I believe in. I have to move, but it doesn't mean that I have to leave. Because I'm still here, in your heart, in your head, deep inside the memories you hold of me within velvet boxes. I will never not be there. I'll be around. You might see me from time to time. You may talk to me sometimes. You might meet someone with the same eyes as me, or the same gestures, or you might even sit there and smell me on the tube. But sometime, and it won't be as long as you think from now, the pain of today will fade. The tears will stop falling over me and you'll meet someone else who is simply amazing, but you'll never be able to put your finger on why they are so. That reason will be me. You will glimpse part of me within him, and you'll cling onto it with all you've got. The world won't stop turning when I walk away from here, or when you do. The sky won't cave in, and the stars won't implode. Life will carry on for everyone. So you've got to promise me that you'll remember. Because memories can bring people back forever; it just takes the ability to believe.The words flew from his lips so fluidly. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. This was it. This could be the last time I would ever see him. I smiled at him. And I walked away. There were words still unspoken on my lips, and so much I needed to hear from his. But I walked.
I'll never know why I left like that on that day. Maybe I didn't want to hear what he said. Maybe the above was enough. Perhaps I was trying to make it easier for myself. It didn't work. But This was one of the most inspirational things I've ever heard, and I'll never, ever forget Piers Stubbs.
Sixteen velvet boxes, open and redundant.